Don't you just love it when a celebrity, like a film or TV star, makes a pop record? Some are quite ok, usually they are tolerable, but at worst they can be unlistenable. (We're not naming names here!)
A special category should be reserved for sports stars who release records. With the exception of a couple, including Aussie indigenous boxer Lionel Rose whose efforts are widely respected, these records generally suck.
In Australia, footballers usually have larger than life personalities, but the idea of the larrikin footballer is dying out, with outrageous behaviour being frowned upon now. For my money, NRL (rugby league) personalities are just plain awful. The VFL/AFL ones are much more hilarious, but no less stupid than their NRL equivalents.
Enter Mark "Jacko" Jackson, former St Kilda, Melbourne Demons and Geelong AFL player. The man made a splash outside the field with a few records in the mid-80s. The biggest of which was "I'm an Individual" from 1985.
This turned up on my random mix at home the other day and I was struck by the fact that this is a half-decent song. It's sheer poetry:
"I'm an individual, you can't fool me.
An Inda-bloody-vidual, you can't fool me.
I'm a genuine original, you can't fool me..."
Poetry indeed. I was also struck by irony of the lyrics at the end of the chorus: "Gotta keep an open 'cos I'm thinking all the time". Huh? Since when are you being paid to think? Since when DO you think?
Notice, dear reader, that I said it was a "half-decent" song. What followed from both Jacko and his colleagues never came close to such a lofty perch.
Jacko's follow-up "My Brain Hurts" is simply tragic. Although, that's nothing compared to musical travesty that is (Sydney Swans AFL player) Warwick Capper's attempt at a single "I Only Take What's Mine", which he released after "I'm an Individual" started heading skyward on the charts. But that is so bad that I wouldn't denigrate my blog by posting the video here.
Later on, Jacko went on to great fame as the guy in the Energizer Battery advertisments, which were a stroke of larrikin genius back in the day.
A few years later he released another musical travesty, with the aforementioned Wazza Capper in tow; a techno track called "Rippin' Undies" which is so bad that even YouTube doesn't have the video for (thank heavens!!!) and Wikipedia doesn't even acknowledge it's existence.*
If nothing else, he kept us entertained for a brief few moments. Good on yer, Jacko.
* Andrew Denton's Breakfast Show on Triple M radio in Sydney uncovered this one in their search for the worst songs of all time some years ago.
When "I'm An Individual" was a hit, my parents took my siblings and I to see Jacko when he appeared in person at our local shopping centre.
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